Where The Lines Blur
by NanaGoesBlehh
Summary: Where do the dreams end and the reality begin? Angsty With A Happy Ending. HitsuKarin.
1. Regretted Words

**No Beta. Saying sorry now :/ And chapters will steadily grow longer.  
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**Chapter One**

**Regretted Words**

She wasn't supposed to listen to him. She never has before, why would she now? It wasn't so literal. He would never wish that on her.

Well. Not literally.

He didn't mean it.

He just didn't mean it.

What made those stupid words come from his mouth wasn't even important anymore. He doesn't even remember what it was.

"Don't you dare Kurosaki Karin."

But like she always does, she only smiled. Tired. Cold. Weary smile. Stained in blood.

"Hey," hoarse voice. She shouldn't speak. "Its Hitsugaya."

She goes blurry in his eyes, and until they fall to her cheek does he realize it's tears. She isn't supposed to die. She can't.. she just can't.

"You can't." he finds himself muttering, ignoring the pain shooting though his hand while he is holding too tightly onto her. She doesn't feel it anyway.

"We have a game, baka. Saturday. You promised, we're going to finals." he refuses to believe her eyes are fading. They're supposed to be on fire. The eyes he grew up with, he fell for through high school, and still love through college. The eyes he was going to marry in a few more months."You can't leave the team, your family..." words continue to choke out while he can only stare at her. Drops of blood brush her face, his or hers he doesn't know. Her hair is mixed with shards of glass from the broken window of the coffee shop, and he can feel the eyes of the many other 'saved' hostages. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about any other them, only the girl dyi-... on his lap. "You can't leave." Why did she have to play hero? Why did he?

"Toshiro...ke up..."

He finds himself blinking at her words. "Karin-"

"I love you Tosh." and with that she was gone.

The ambulance finally arrives, and she is hanging loosely in his arms.

He is numb. The blue and red flash in his eyes, but he doesn't feel their sting, the paramedics call orders, but he can't formulate the meaning in his head. It just doesn't connect.

And suddenly they are taking her away from him.

He refuses.

He is clinging to her body, knowing that _she_ isn't there. A slim manicured hand grips onto his shoulder. Past his white locks, her can see orange locks falling over slim shoulder. He lets her body go, because it isn't _her._

"_who the hell did I fall for huh?"_

Their conversation just before the heist comes to his head. Like now, everyone's eyes were on them.

"_Well I don't fucking know Karin! Maybe you shouldn't be with me then!" _

Beginning of the end.

"_Then I won't!" _

But he was so mad.

"_Fine!" _

And she is just so stubborn.

"_Fine!" _

...Was- was so stubborn.

"_Here's your fucking ring! I don't want it! Fuck off!" _

You weren't supposed to die baka.

"_Like I give a shit! Go crawl in a ditch and die already!" _

We were supposed to make up.

"_This is a heist!"_

Like how we always do.

"_Everyone down on the ground!"_

Because that's how we were.

"_Toshiro, don't!"_

And that how we were supposed to be.

"_Karin!"_

Forever and always.

_Bang._

Didn't we promise that with this ring?

"_Karin!"_

But everything tumbled down.

"..._Karin..."_

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><p><em><strong>I'll update in about a week. Summer band starts soon, and for those of you in band, it's almost Marching Season :D For those not, it's pretty busy.<br>**_

_**I'm warning you now... things get kind of... twisted? Yeah lets use that word C:**_

_**Comment? Just to see where this story stands^^ Thank you~~ :3  
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	2. Never Meant To Be Said

**No Beta. Saying sorry now :'( But I told you they'd get longer...  
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**Chapter Two**

**Never Meant To Be Said**

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><p><em>Wake up.<em>

_Wake up my darling._

_Don't abandon me_

_For a world of lies._

* * *

><p>Light flooded into his eyes as they shot open, taking in as much air he could fit into his lungs. Warmth from the sun touches part of his face in pieces through the leaves hanging above his head.<p>

He doesn't shift despite his tense muscles but move slowly to the weight holding down his shoulder. A head of raven hair on his left shoulder and arm, coming around her to hold her close, letting his fingers tangle in her hair. Music plays from a ear bud that had fallen from his ear, loud enough to hear.

__"...You used to captivate me by your resonating light...__

The other, connected to Karin's ear laying on his arm.

_"...Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind..._

Her eye lashes are perfectly lain on her puffed cheek...

_"...Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams..._

...meshed with his chest in sleep.

__"...Your voice it chased away all the sanity in m___e..."_

He relaxes when he sees her breathing.

His free hand runs through his white hair blocking out the piano of the song and the power of the voice, while he searches his blank mind for a reason why he was so... bothered? He looks around as the grass swaying to brush his skin. His eyes pass over the few flowers in the sea of green as they move with the gentle wind, crackling like paper. They are folded neatly, perfect paper flowers surrounding them.

He doesn't give it much thought.

Toshiro stares down at his fiance as she stirs and finally her eyes blink open. He can't stop the corners of his mouths from tilting up from seeing her sleepy face, ever the morning person she was. Which wasn't a pleasant one at times.

Karin looks up at him while she rubs the sleep from her eyes. "Whats with you?" she says bored, sleepiness still mixed with her voice. "You look like you've seen a monster or something." Karin props herself up on one elbow comfortably to face him, her left hand on his chest with a golden ring on her finger.

"Nothing important." she rolls her eyes at his statement and he blinks at her. The ends of her eyes... are black. Feathered just at the end into the whites of her eyes is black, almost like ink. She looks back at him and around her irises of blue and violet is a white line, faint but still there. "Karin, are you alright?" She looks away from him while she shrugs his shoulder.

"Nothing, just worried about something."

"What could worry you?" he says almost playfully, but he is expecting an answer.

She looks back to him and her eyes aren't blue, gray, nor purple. None of the colors that he would ever use to describe them.

They were pure black.

Empty.

Hollow.

Black.

"Karin." he says fearfully and a voice echos in his mind, no through the air.

"_Karin!"_

Her skin is pale, even with the sun glowing down on her.

_Bang._

Shadows line under her eyes, and thin her cheeks.

"_Karin!"_

Her cheek has a spot of red.

"_Karin..."_

He shook his head slightly, growing fast in speed as he sits up, away from her. No. _That_... never happened. Never.

"Just wake up Tosh." he blinks at her. No. That was the dream, this was real. It had to be. It was real. It was. It had to be.

He's awake.

Because he wouldn't do such a thing.

He's awake.

Because he wanted to be.

He's awa-

"Please." she says. He can't move.

The blades of grass around him come alive and grab onto him. They latch onto his arms and legs, wrapping and suffocating him dragging him away into the soil that begins to feel too much like water. He is sinking under watching her over him, thin, sick, and hurt. All done by his stupid actions.

The light isn't sunlight

The sky is white.

"Please, Tosh."

The shadow isn't from a tree.

His head goes under and his all white world goes black.

* * *

><p><em>To where your loved ones stand,<em>

_Follow my voice._

_Follow my call._

_Follow me to our world_

* * *

><p>A voice is calling him. Pulling him, grasping onto his hands and shoulders as he sinks lower and lower under. So many reaching voices.<p>

Too many. Much too many. They hurt his head. Ringing, bouncing in the walls of his cranium.

The arms tug at his limbs. Pull at his heart.

They urge him to the surface, to the blinding light. His teal eyes can't look past the white light, or what it holds behind it.

He doesn't want to go near it. Having to face what he isn't ready to face.

He fears it.

That is fake. That is fake. That is fake.

Down here is safe. Down here is life. Down here is reality.

He pushes away the many hands, one by one, from the gentlest one to the roughest. Finally he gets them all off and he plunges downwards.

Down.

Farther.

Deeper.

You can't fix what isn't broken.

* * *

><p><em>Push me away<em>

_Just as you've done_

_But I'm not leaving_

_I will catch you as you fall_

* * *

><p>His eye lids are heavy,<em>and he finds its hard to breath. Toshiro recognizes the four light blue walls around him as his old room of his old house. He lets the sleepiness slowly ebb away from him, as well as part of his dream.<em>

_He doesn't motion to get up but chooses to stare at the white ceiling above him counting the cracks and holes. When he reaches 47 his door opens. _

_From the corner of his eye he sees a head of orange, and sits up letting his black with blue trimmed sheets fall off of him. It hurts to move, but he doesn't wince. He feels it, but it doesn't reach his mind. His back muscles stretch in pain, and he feels cloth with his hand around his back._

"Careful, you'll open them." his sister calls gently, knowing just how is in the mornings. He looks up to her. Rangiku was always beautiful in the eyes of many. With her long flowing strawberry blond hair, full lips and her natural social skill... it was a wonder they were blood family. The only tie they held were their icy blue eyes, gained from their late mother.

Her blue eyes were clouded and he could tell from the red puffiness under them, she had been crying too. Karin was one of her closest friends, and soon to be sister-in-law. Her usually glowing shiny locks were limp and dull, slightly messy from a bed head herself.

"I'll be fine." he said to her. She only smiled weakly before brushing runaway strands of white hair from his face, the same stubborn two falling again in front of his left eye. Her hand went through his hair to his back to wrap him in a side hug. Thankfully in Toshiro's opinion. Her bust has suffocated him on more than one occasion.

He didn't say anything as she pulled him into a hug, sitting beside him and slipping under his covers. It reminded him of when he was a child, and would run to her's and at the time Momo's room in the middle of the night because of a storm. He would crawl into her bed, Momo already there fearing the storm also and sleep until dawn broke. Back then, their father disappeared and their mother died and they were left with what they could scrape together.

Rangiku left school for a job and took full custody of both her brother and sister. It was hard but she made it; they made it by.

He finds her staring at the picture frames on his beside desk.

Brown wood encased a picture of a thin girl, no older than seven, with large doe like eyes, hiding partly under brown bangs not held back by two low pigtails at the base of her neck, and as sweet as her chocolate eyes foretold. Hung over it was a red silk, in honor for the dead.

Beside it, was the same girl eyes hidden as they are close hugging him with an annoyed expression, Rangiku at a young age of 16 both of them in front of their house when it was still new.

Another much more recent: him and his... late fiance. He is staring at her face etched in ink smiling right beside his. One arm around him in a hug from behind, the other taking the picture, leading to the camera. The scenery behind them is one of a park they spent most of their time. More specifically a tree they always sat at, drifting off listening to music from her iPod. The ear buds in both their ears was proof enough.

A faint smile was on his face printed in ink. One of no idea what lay ahead of them, but simply in the moment they were there together.

He remembers translating the lyrics of songs from so many different languages, the open minded person she could be at times... when she was calm.

She loved Evanescence, even if she didn't understand her lyrics. She would tell him, 'music doesn't have a language barrier.' She was the one to introduce music to him mostly.

He never found it interesting, most lyrics he found to be crude and meaningless to his ears. But it was one of the many things she changed about him. He's known her all his life, and expected to be with her until the world ends. Because she became his window to the world he shunned himself from and soon_ became_ his world.

He was dependent on her, he knew but just as much as she was to him.

They weren't like other couples. They weren't together all the time, they weren't as happy-go-lucky as they seemed. Life made sure of that. Neither of them were mushy people in the end anyway. The times they were together were the happiest, the times apart were too long, and even their moments of pain and hurt were special. It was how they were.

Life had taken so many things from them, enough that the knew what to cherish and what was a waste of time like making sure to call back about meaningless things, or giving "worthy" gifts on special holidays.

The phone ringing distracted his thoughts and looked at the slightly open door to the living room where the phone was. He glances away, and his eyes jumped right back to the picture.

His eyes must have deceived him, he thinks as he stares at the frozen memory before him. In the split second his eyes moved away, her head tilted the slightest way to the right in a motion of sadness and maybe even a flash a pain. Her eyes blinking, hair waving and eyes shining. But there it was, Karin perfectly still.

Pictures, much less people in pictures, do not move.

Toshiro didn't realize his sister left the room until she returned at the doorway, a phone in her hands and a look of sadness.

"It's the hospital, they want to talk to you... about Karin-chan."

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><p><em>My love, so rightfully named<em>

_Awake and see with cheerful eyes._

_I have a gift made with love  
><em>

_Love **only** for **you.**_

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><p><em><strong>Ain't I a stinker? Second chapter and I'm already leaving cliff hangers ^^<br>**_

_**Anywhoo~ Thank you to those who alerted and commented! I know I'm such a downer :b But wait for the happy ending!... I said wait, damn you~ :) There are SO many hints in this I can't bare it! :O **_

_**Oh and there is a VERY special meaning to the little... poem... stanza.. things... and remember them. I wrote them myself (but you can probably tell because they suck! xD) I'm not very good at sounding deep... meh.**_

_**What I didn't write are the lyrics to the song My Immortal by Evanescence ! (My favorite singer that kind of inspired this story~) That belongs to her!  
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_**Thanks again! **_

_**-NanaGoesBlehh**  
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